03-13-14 - The Parenting Drop

One of the things I want to avoid is the "parenting drop". Most parents (unless they're just monsters) are incredibly loving and nurturing to babies and toddlers, but around 1st grade age or so they just emotionally drop the hot potato. Suddenly you're alone and out in the world. Partly this is done intentionally to "toughen up" a child to be able to face the world when they're at school. Partly it's that the parents are exhausted from giving so much emotionally in the early years that they just can't wait to send their child off. Partly it's that going to school creates the illusion that the child is more grown up and independent.

My goal is to make that reduction of love and support much more gradual. Not an "okay, you're 5, no more cuddles, get the fuck out there and be a man".

I also disagree that a lot of that stuff *ever* has to be with-held. It's nice to cry to your mom, have a booboo kissed, have a wrestle and tickle fight, even when you're 30. The idea that children need to be taught not to be "childish" is fucking awful.

Childishness continued in the next post...