12-16-13 - Baby Baby Baby

Sometimes I think we're being too good to the baby. Not that you can spoil a baby, or that you need to "toughen them up" for the real world (you fucking assholes, being shits to your baby and pretending that your self-serving neglect is good for them). But that we're pushing ourselves too hard, and it's not sustainable.

In some ways this is the least important phase to be a good parent. The baby won't remember anything; and even if they do remember a blissful early childhood, that's almost not a good thing. It creates a constant longing for the lost bliss of the sweet loving parents you had when you were tiny.

The big problem is if you can't keep it up and check out as the baby gets older, which is incredibly common. Lots of parents have their first baby and are super excited and devoted and loving. Then time goes on and they burn themselves out and they go back to work and take up their hobbies, and they start to just get annoyed that the kids still want them all the time. God dammit this kid is really getting in the way of my amateur donkey-porn-making habit!

It's much better to be consistent. Children don't understand the variations of adult interest; they think they are to blame, or something has gone horribly wrong; they don't understand boredom, or the feeling that you need to do more with your life, or that you need to be an independent person, or whatever it is that makes you draw away sometimes and come closer at other times.