12-14-13 - Male Misery

I feel like the human man in modern society is more fundamentally doomed to misery than the human female. Women can find relationships and have babies, which lets them fullfill their deep biological chemical needs. They may feel unfulfilled, or discriminated against, or whatever, but those are sort of intellectual problems, not deep biological problems. Men need to bash in the heads of other men and take their women; we need to scream and fight and fuck, and we are never allowed to do it, and that creates a deep misery that's uniquely male.

Of course we're civilized and we don't do those things, blah blah blah, but the constant urges and supressions just creates this unpleasant impotent feeling, like I'm not the man I'm supposed to be. I'm supposed to murder you all and take your land and women, and I just don't get to. (I suppose I could do it by becoming a banker or a lawyer, but I don't want to do it that slimy way, with paperwork and manipulation, I want to do it by stabbing you in the gut).

(of course there are shared miseries that men and women all face like the inherent illogicalness of life, the feeling that we need to do something significant with ourselves but also the knowledge that all things are pointless, the inability to ever really connect to another human being, the permanent solitude inside our own heads, the paradox of following a moral code that's based on nothing but convention, etc.)

I think this is part of why there are more male writers and poets and such, because we have this horrible yearning inside that we can't fullfill in any reasonable way, so we have to get it out with expression. (and of course more serial killers and rapists and so on).

Anyway, I thought about this because I watched TT3D, which is only okay (bad luck for the film makers that they didn't get the real life drama to play out the way they wanted). It occurred to me that the TT is one of those rare opportunities for a man to be a man, to risk your life, to do something at the absolute limits of what a human can do, to show the world what you are fucking capable of, to battle other men to the death essentially. Stupid observers see it and say "it's too dangerous" or "it's illogical to risk your life like that". Nonsense, when your daily life is a constant misery of unfullfilled desires, going out and doing something that makes you feel really right is completely logical. What's not logical is all the people who are so safe and responsible and careful with their lives, for what? What are you saving yourself for? So you can watch The Price is Right in a nursing home?