12-11-13 - Baby Baby Baby

Emmy's been using a walker for a while. (the kind you sit in and your feet can touch the ground and it has wheels so she scoots around)

Aside : jesus christ I need to be in charge of designing every product in the world. Everyone is fired. The god damn walker has a *square* base. That means she's constantly getting stuck on things or in the corner of the room and I have to get off my lazy ass and get her unstuck. Of course the base should be a circle. Somebody needs to give Fisher-Price a lesson in squares vs. circles. WTF.

(Aside 2 : the baby walker should totally have a little vacuum cleaner with brushes on the bottom of it so that she can clean the floor as she walks around)

All the over-anxious-parent literature these days says you should not use walkers because they "slow development". (and of course they're dangerous death traps because you're a moron who lets baby use a walker unsupervised right next to a pit full of punji sticks). In this case "development" is measured as the age at which baby walks on its own. The claim is that because walkers teach muscle movements that are not the same as real walking, it slows "development".

What a load of shit. This is the typical modern dumb-like-Bill-Gates use of narrow metrics.

If your metric for "development" is "age of autonomous walking" then almost anything you have baby do other than walk-training will slow "development". How fucking sophomoric. It's like the dumb studies that say things like teaching music doesn't help children's education, where "education" is measured only in standardized test results.

Now of course if you plop your baby in the walker and ignore it, that's bad for development. Spending time paying attention interacting with your baby is good for it. I don't need any damn study to tell me that, it's fucking obvious. Leaving your baby alone neglected is bad for it. Duh.

I guess this is sort of a reminder to myself. Yes I'm sure that in a mass population study, walkers correlate with bad things (like dead or dumb babies), because the average parent puts baby in there and then leaves the room to watch TV. But I don't do that, so it doesn't apply to me. Nothing that anybody says applies to me because I'm not a fucking moron.