10-17-13 - My TV Bed

In my living room, I have a bed instead of a couch.

Everyone who comes in looks at it funny. Some ask "what's that for?". Most refuse to sit on it and wind up leaning against the wall or something instead. I suspect that they're afraid it's used for sex. Which yes of course it is, but if it was a couch that would be used for sex just as much; every surface in the whole house is used for sex, and hell some of the outdoors too. The fact that it's a bed doesn't really change that.

The primary purpose of the bed is to give me a way to watch TV without hurting my back. It's wonderful. It's really good for me. I have the TV mounted up as high as possible on the wall (*), so I can lie flat on my back, with my neck straight, not curled forward. In fact I use a little lumbar support to get slight lordosis. It's amazing therapy. You can't go and do 15 minutes of physical therapy and then sit at a couch in horrible posture for 2 hours and expect anything good to happen; back reform is about being in good positions *constantly*. Always always, never ever slouching or head-forward.

(* = it would be even slightly better to have the TV on the ceiling. I started looking into projectors that I could point straight up, but it turns out that projectors can't be tilted more than 15 degrees towards the vertical or something retarded like that. WTF.)

Anyway, Tasha hates the bed for various legitimate reasons, but I fiercely cling to it. It occurs to me that my love for it goes beyond just the comfort and postural benefits.

The bed has become a symbol for me of my non-conformity. I love that when we have other suburban moms over they're kind of freaked out. I hate how fucking generic and suburban I've become, how mild and normal.

I've always been so opposed to the idea of doing things because of fitting in. When someone tells me "you can't wear ripped jeans" or "you have to weed your parking strip" or whatever; why? why do I have to do that? Because some fucking suburban assholes will tsk-tsk me if I don't? fuck them! Let them get their panties in a knot if they want to, I'm not doing anything that hurts them. Sure I wind up conforming most of the time just because it's easier and I'm very lazy; I don't wear weird junk anymore because I just don't want the trouble of the interactions it creates, I prefer to dress like everyone else so I can just slip through the world un-noticed. But fundamentally I'm so opposed to doing anything just because "you're supposed to", because society has some fucking retarded ideas.

So I cling to the TV-bed as my fuck-you to what I'm supposed to do. It's the only way that my home is bohemian and free the way I really want it to be.

You want a hot tub in your living room? Great, sounds fun. You want a pile of bean-bags and throw pillows? Cool. You want to just draw on your walls with markers? Yeah. God everyone's home is so fucking boring, oo you're so good at copying the fucking magazines.

I realized there's a challenge/filter aspect as well. I like the idea of freaking out the uptight conformists because it lets me know right away that I don't like them. If you won't sit on my bed with me, you're no friend of mine. All through my youth I used various forms of challenge/filter. I would aggressively question people who were being irrational, and if they couldn't take the heat and stand up for their reasoning, then they're not for me. I would use curse words and mock religion. I would dress weirdly because anyone who judged me by my clothing was too superficial for me to bother with. (**)

Of course the result of all that was that hardly anybody ever passed my tests and all I did was alienate myself from society.

(** = advice to my children : don't try to be different. Nobody likes someone who's unique. Just try to fit it in, do what society wants. That doesn't mean that you have to just be a drone and conformist, but if you're going to stand out, do it in the societally approved ways. You can be a "bad boy" or a "rebel" which are totally conformist stereotypes; people like that, they want to be able to judge you and know where you fit. And it's much better for you, it will give you more friends, more lovers, more careers. Don't challenge people and be disappointed when they fail; know that everyone sucks but take what you can from interacting with them anyway).

I'm keeping my TV-bed.