It's really hard to work with people out in the real world who haven't been in a formal work environment. Like if you're just trying to coordinate some friends to do some gardening or whatever, people who haven't gone through that office social training just don't know how to communicate about tasks. You have to be incredibly pedantic, you have to be super clear about what each person expects the other to do, what the task sequencing needs to be and where the choke points are, when you'll need help or not, etc. and they find it kind of annoying and insulting. Like any time there's an issue that everyone should agree on, you need to call a meeting and clearly explain it and the proposed solution, and get everyone to say "yep we're on the same page" then you can go do it.
People who haven't been in the formal work environment are always like "yeah yeah I know, leave me alone" but then they proceed to fuck shit up by not doing what they were supposed to in the team orders. Like you were counting on them to open the door for you before you got there carrying the bath tub, and when you arrive you find them instead washing windows and the door is closed with the bath tub in your hands, and you're like WTF and they're like "oh I thought I'd do this first". WTF if you don't follow the team orders you need to check in with the group. If you couldn't do your tasks on schedule you need to say so at assignment time, don't just let them drop.
I'm sure military guys face a similar but even greater frustration when they get back to the real world and see what a disorganized mess everyone is.